Acceptance
by Song of Stillness
Summary: An angsty one-shot. Remus makes a rash decision much to the horror of his close friends. Rated for swearing.


**Acceptance**

_Author's Note: _This was written in 2007 and it makes me cringe looking back on it now, cause it just so _angsty _and so _different_ from anything i've written. It makes me wonder what kind of mind-frame I was in at the time. Lol =)

o0o

He runs, the wind catching in his hair, his heartbeats echoing the rhythm of his feet. They've found out. He doesn't know how… but they have. And he knows that they will hate him for it. His friends… his dear, true friends. He stifles a cry at the thought, the thought of losing them, the thought of losing his sanity and anything that has ever had any meaning in his life.

He feels the branches as they whip into his shoulders, his arms, his legs, shredding his clothing, his skin.

They would never understand…

_Hatred._

And they will never need to again.

_Revulsion…_

Tonight he will end it all.

_You're so stupid Remus… So fucking stupid!_

His throat catches with some unshed emotion, blinding, painful, and he stops, clutching onto a nearby tree, seeking comfort in the spiky branches and the leaves which sting his hands, his ragged breathing catching up with him.

And then the tears come…

The tears of abuse,

neglect.

The shunning as a child,

the whispers,

the pain…

He loves his friends… their comfort, their charisma. But he can't take it…the look of betrayal in their eyes… How can they accept him for what he is? How can they love him for what he is…?

_They hate you…do you know that? They hate you!_

Usually the night is beautiful, alighting his senses with the colours of darkness,

filling him with desire, making him want to dance, feeling the moonlight caress his naked skin. But tonight is different…

It is poisoned.

He cranes his neck to glimpse the moon, muscles tensed and corded. The desire to change is there… the wolf instincts will remain with him until his dying day, this he knows…

But what a beautiful way to die… underneath the moon, crushed in the light of its dangerous beauty.

He shivers.

A trembling hand reaching into a deep pocket, revealing something smooth which glints in the moonlight. He knows what he is taking will end his life. He's measured it carefully. Nothing will go wrong.

_Goodbye world…_

'Remus! What the hell do you think you're doing?!' The voice is sharp, and cuts like a knife through the silence of the night.

Remus chokes, the clear liquid spilling down his throat.

_Burning._

'Remus. It's us… your friends. We– '

'James, you idiot. He's taken it… He's…'

_Blurry, everything dips before my eyes…_

'How do you know…he… Shit!'

'There must be something we can – Peter, you useless bastard, get over here!

Remus - he's… I think he's…

'Do you think …?'

'…it's too late, I …'

'Remus… can you hear us?

Can you …'

_Arms hold me, touch me; warmth, but nothing can stop this cold penetrating to my bones._

'So cold…' Remus murmurs.

'Shhh – He spoke – he…'

'Sirius – shut up!'

Remus can make out three heads bending over him, pale as the moonlight.

'I'm so sorry guys… I'm sorry…' Remus whispers, tears slipping down his cheeks.

'I just wanted to protect you from myself… I guess I… I couldn't stand the fact that you would hate me…'

'Remus… you're so, so stupid! We _love_ you, you git. We always have, always have…' Remus looks up realizing the voice belonged to Sirius.

There are tears shining on his face…

On all of their faces…

Why are they crying…? For him?

'But… I thought…'

'Well you thought wrong. There is nothing wrong with you. Werewolf or not!'

'Why did you do it Remey?' Peter's small voice is teary.

_Cold… so cold._

'Guys… it's getting darker. I… can't see you…I…I'm…'

_The pain is unendurable, beyond description…_

'We're here Remey… we won't leave you… we won't let you go.' The voice is bitter, beyond tears. James.

Remus mouths words but nothing comes out. His breath constricts in his throat. His mind numbs, everything spinning.

'We love you Remus, we always will…'


End file.
